I had to do it...

I had to drive to the beach with two of my very best friends in the world listening to Norah Jones all the way there and talking girl stuff.
I had to throw my things in my room and get to the beach as fast as I could.
I had to feel the sand in my toes.

I had to see my little girl in one of her eight bathing suits looking out across the ocean and wonder what in the world she was thinking.

I had to fight back a few tears as I saw my girls.

I had to have this picture.

We had to have a sand castle with our favorite chips on top

I had to hold all her shells. I had to keep up with her treasures. I didn't mind.

I had to remember that I only have these two for a short time and making sure they

have my undivided attention and making sure they know that I love them more than

anything else in the world. They are two of my best friends in the whole world and I love spending time with them. Even though we spend seven days a week together, 24 hours a day

I want them to understand that I want to know them. I want to enjoy them. I want them to know I cherish them as my daughters.

We had to have friends along on the journey.

Sometimes a girl just has to cry. We understand. We've been there. We know.

We pick her up and engulf her in our love and she's all better and we're better for it.

We understand each other.

I had to eat great food with my girls. A quaint little pizza joint sitting outside under the cool Florida breeze right before sunset.... A girls gotta have her chicken nuggets on the beach. Terribly bad for us, but we had to do it.





I had to breathe them in. I had to sneak them away from the hustle and bustle of our big

family life and eat ice-cream, watch girl movies, sleep late, and stay on the beach for 6 hours.

We had to.

I had to have them all to myself but I still missed my one true love. My true north was at home.

We had some friends there and we put our chairs in the water and solved the worlds problems

right on the sandy beaches.

We had to.

Sometimes you just need to do it. Drive South with your girls. Lay out on a big towel and soak in the friendship; build memories that they will not forget.

Have fun; live....

I had to.

I have to say thank you Lord for a safe trip..

and thank you to our friends at the beach:)

Lessons from the farm...

#1-know the difference between a bushel and a peck.

Our book was coming to an end. It has been a great read and so in celebration of true friendship,

true devotion, and a love that saves we had all the reason in the world to celebrate, so we did.

Charlotte's Web has never looked so good as she looked on my table with my brown eyed children gathered round.

We saved the last two chapters for daddy to read and then we ate pigs in a blanket and ice-cream and cupcakes and then piled up in my bed and watched the movie. Memories, people, it's all about the memories..

I loved the way Coop added our own little spider web. I love that kid. He has me wrapped around, not only, his finger but every possible place I can be wrapped. I admit it. :) So there I said it and now the world knows..

I walked in the baby girls room and this is what I saw. Hmmm... I heard giggles and decided

to sneak a peek.

This is my world...Love, laughter, and a whole lot of adventures..I look for them everywhere.

I need them. Adventures with my kids. I love finding small treasures throughout my day

and this one was definitely a keeper..

Just because I can not get enough of her eyes. You can never have enough of her, I promise.

She is country and a chicken chaser from way back. I hope and pray the Lord is raising up

a strong kinda' man for her..

Around here we do ALOT of three things:

1. eating ice-cream
2. swimming
3. jumping on the trampoline
   

Our summer is just beginning and already I see tan lines and blonder hair

as the sun soaks into them. I see them growing. I see that they're happy and that

makes me very, very happy.

It's always better

The dishes done, we clamor outside and play football. The kids are used to being on his team. They each take their position running back, running back, center, and a tackle or two in the field.

His voice calls out "blue 52, hut!"

I'm used to cheering for him. Not because he's perfect but because he's close enough to perfect

for me ( I had to say that, a blast from the past!).

It's been a long day and yet when he hears "Dad, lets play some football" he's there.

Perfect quarter-back form he gently takes the ball from his beautiful center and sails it across the yard to one of his boys. I can't help but to remember my old high-school cheering days. Only this time I'm cheering for my team. My quarter back. The man that I adore. It's better this way. It's always better when we're together.

He has grown into his role as our quarter-back. I trust him. I know he's got the best interest of the team on his mind all the time and there's a sweet comfort in that.

The years of training and growing are looking good on him and I love who he is growing into.

Coop is like the wind. His feet can take him some place fast, he's always the go-to guy

because he's dependable and did I mention fast?

Fumble on the 50 yard line and the center watches on. She is also an un-paid referee and I suspect a foul or two will be called on those two. I see him catch the ball and run... I fight back the tears because my mind wonders the what ifs.
What if we would have listened to the nay-sayers in our life and not brought this little guy home.
His feet pounding the dirt and his heart pounding life. His smile pounding the door to my heart right down. Love is a leap you cannot deny. I'm glad we didn't deny him.

The darkness taking over and the lightning bugs dancing around us, the frogs so loud we have to almost shout.

We stop our game for the night and my quarterback and I pose for a quick picture for our adoring fans:

Our children...and then he kisses me and they all run away...:)

Guess where the girls are?

Enjoy the moment

It was awkward to say the least. It brought hot tears to my eyes as I pulled him close. Why does being a teenager have to be so hard? Why does a mama and her son have to separate so he can be a man?HE was my first born son. He was the one I kept by my side until his father made me let him go to a big boy bed. He was the one I worried about the most. He was my first true love (besides his father) for the male population. He taught me to trust and love and to love deeply. Now he is transitioning into man-hood and although at times I feel an outsider into his thoughts I see glimpses of the little boy who pushed his knees into my back as we slept late. The grin that stole my heart a million times I have to look for now but it's still there. The words I miss the most " best mama in the world" he used to say often now are replaced with my favorite music cd's carefully made by him and left in my car as a surprise.

I miss the carefree days of slippy slides and Kool-aid with him. The days that I understood him better than anyone...the days when I could kiss his boo-boos and make everything better.

Now we walk together but it's strange at times. Me trying to understand him and him trying to

understand me.

This morning:

I put my hand on his shoulder and said laughingly "lets hug" and he did and for a moment I felt

the little boy that is still in there somewhere..Time stood there alittle awkward but it stood...and my tears fell........

If your little boy is still sleepily pushing his knees in your back and still blowing you kisses and

whispering love words in your ears drawing you heart pictures and telling you

you're the best mother in the world...embrace it and live there with him as long as you can.

Go into his room at night and hear his stories and make sure his love bank is filled with mama love..

They do grow up and before you know he's growing into a man and you're a woman missing your little boy...

Wondering where the time went and wondering if you embraced every single moment..

This is the Lord's design and it's a normal part of letting him go but ladies I have to tell you

it's H-A-R-D........

Scott laughs at me and, heck I laugh at myself but letting go is not easy.

I know I have some years to go but we're training him to go.. We're training him to not need us.

So a part of me feels like screaming to get off the ride....the ride of letting him go........

but I have to remember to embrace these moments and trust in this journey that every

mother and every son must and will go through..

Come meet my church family and some friends

I'm thankful for my church..The people of our church have stood with us through the very hard times and the very best of times. They love my children and I love theirs!

New friends and old ones

Elders who love your family

Gary North

Good counsel

sweet friends

good food

good cakes

true friends

kindred spirits

good ole boys from Texas

brothers and sisters

new love

first pictures

my hubby

sons

helpers

boys who love bugs

girls that love babies

did I mention boys?

Thanks for a great weekend!!! I'm thankful for all of our church family.... What a great weekend!