My Tent

He holds her and I, with my eye in the camera lens,

remember to give thanks for this moment, this daughter and this

wonderful husband. I have been busy lately, as most of my very few followers left

can tell by the lack of blog posts but...I can't seem to pull away

from this rowdy bunch like I used to. The girls are walking and talking

and my time, my precious few moments for me, seem to get used up rather quickly these days.

I find myself relating so much to Ann Voskamp in her book One Thousand Gifts:

"The world I live in is loud and blurring and toilet plugs and I get speeding tickets and the dog gets sick all over the back step and I forget everything and these six kids lean hard and there are real souls that are at stake and how long do I really have to figure out how to live full of grace, full of joy-before these six beautiful children fly the coop and my mothering days fold up quiet?"--------------------Ann Voskamp

my mothering days fold up quiet.......

...hit me sorta hard. Thinking of all I have to do now and then

remembering one day my hands will be still and my days lonely, perhaps...

and with all that's in me I fight back tears because

I like where I"m at.

but I can't stay here forever

Busy and popular.Not popular as the world knows popular

but popular in the sense I have alot of little fans

and some not so little fans that need me.

I have laundry to do

and books to read

boo-boo's to fix

and yes, toilets to unclog..

and when this chair calls I can't sit..

it beckons me and right then I have to make a decision, do I sit or do keep on?

So lately I've been keeping on...

I sense the flying the coop stage is not far away for me

you know one of mine out on a limb flapping hard against the wind to jump,

and when I sit down with my children at our big table

and the crickets so loud on the farm

you wanna tell them to hush.

I examine their brown eyes in the candle light and know that the change is happening.

I examine my own self and realize time is changing me also.

I continue to grow older.

Time won't stand still for even a minute

and so I find myself being used up by my 8 children and one adoring husband.

They do lean hard in on me I feel it at the end of the day.

Poured out

but I stand firm and enjoy the lessons I learn while I'm in this place.

This temporal place that the Lord has pitched my tent.

It will move, my tent, and I know the move is inevitable, but right now,

right here, the sand under my tent is familiar

and when I run my toes through it I know how to walk.