The rain is not silent

 She comes again. I see her rolling in from the distance. The dark clouds coming together,

the soft breeze waving the trees. Another day of rain. I hurry trying to get the clothes off the line.

They're flapping in the wind begging not to get wet.... Getting my attention from the window. 

I hurry.

When she finally settles over the pasture, it rains hard. The drops as big as silver

dollars hitting our farm. I call the kids out to sit on the front porch with me.

They sit and I tell them to close their eyes.

They do. The rain hitting their land. I want them to memorize

the sound. How they feel when the breeze brings in a few drops.

I want them to remember rain on this farm. How silly they act when rain comes. 



They slowly get up and as if the rain is calling them to come feel her,

they each take her in. Tasting her. and letting her get them wet.

They are wet head to toe. Their smiles huge as they indulge themselves with her. 

Their laughter so loud I can't hear her drops fall anymore.

They're running and screaming and I'm sitting there

watching them, holding a baby... always holding someone.

 I'm so thankful she came today. She's been here a lot lately and she makes me stop

doing chores. She draws me to watch her from my kitchen window as

she waters my flowers for me. She draws me out to sit and feel her coolness.

She helps me to slow down and enjoy the laughter that comes when

she shows up.

Dinner with the Lee's

 Once again they gather around our table...

 without Tom this time.

It's different, but in so many ways it's the same.

Their smiles make us smile and their stories

make us remember the night of the tornado all over again.

Their tears mingle with our tears and drop

on my table.

A reminder of the healing still taking place.

 Each one remembering that night as if it were just yesterday.

Tears still fall and the mention of the hours spent trapped still vivid

in each of their minds but the thankfulness always present.

Always first...

and

Always Last...

 Tiff was hurt the worst and is still walking with a cane. She

talks of that night and closes her eyes. 

She talks of being trapped underneath the rubble and

holding a blanket in her mouth so she doesn't yell out in pain.

The tears come for all of us as she recalls hearing "roll call"

and wondering who was going to answer and who wasn't this time.

She recalls the pain and then as quickly as she does

she recalls the grace of God for letting her survive. 

 The girls each wear a chain around their neck with a picture of

their beloved father. They each remember his voice above the winds

praying. They will always remember his loud prayers for each of them.

God answered Tom's prayers that night.

His children and wife were spared.

Jeff and Kathy were one of the first to get to the Lee's and they

all kept saying how "their voices" helped them because they knew

someone was there to help. 

 Sherry told the story of the day before the tornado Tom had stopped spontaneously

and bought a jack and lift because it was on sell. It was still in his truck and that night

of the tornado that one jack lifted the debris off his family.

How did he know?

Why did he decide on that day to go buy one?

 My table full once again with this precious family

and I'm reminded of God's Faithfulness as I look around

that night. 

 Thank you Lord for the life of this family.

and how very much they mean to us.

July 2011

The Lie

A Slower day is coming..

It's the promise of a slower day that keeps us from doing the most important things in our lives.

Being the wife to our husbands

Being the mother to our beautiful children.

It's the lie that we believe that one day soon

things will slow down and we will get to do all the

things with our children that we think about. It's the lie 

that keeps us from being loving affectionate wives to our

husbands. When I get the kids settled then it will be his time.

The lie..

It's the lie that keeps us so busy with things

that should not be in our lives at all.

Things that keep us from our precious family.

We'll have a good time when the bills are paid

When the skies are blue

When the baby sleeps all night.

When everyone is well

When the business picks up

When the house is remodeled

When..

When..

When..

This one lie has revolutionized our lives.

The slower day is not coming.

Things will not slow down or get easier.

You have to learn to work around all the other

distractions in your life. Don't learn to work around your

husband and children.

Enjoy them now..   

While there's still time.

Laugh with them

Play with them

Run after them until you catch them

Cook their favorite meals

Snuggle alot

Lay across their beds and just listen

Invest yourself...

God has shined his goodness on you this day.

Enjoy it and bask in His goodness don't miss it

and don't buy the lie.  

Who's missing at your table?

Their finger prints are everywhere. Their little feet touching my hardwoods and moving themselves at a slow pace up and down our home. Falling and having someone come to their rescue and help them up just like the Lord used them to help me up. Their smiles a constant reminder of how much the Lord loves me.
These two are a healing of my heart. When the Lord took William out of our life He knew these two would need me, would need us, but I did not. The peeling away of a new life is painful but now their little shadows  take up residence down the hall from my room. They have brought with them a love so deep and so true that I can hardly have enough of them. The healing of my heart tied so closely with their presence. The Father's love so freely given to me through them. The healing of losing a baby and getting to love again. Getting to love these precious girls is a gift. Adoption is a road less traveled yet there are so many babies that need a home and there are so many who need the love of a baby.Yet they refuse...  refuse to open their home, their wallet, their life...I'm just being honest. They refuse to travel out of their comfort zone.

So they go on believing that someday a baby will appear or when things get better financially or when they get a bigger house when......when.......never. They listen to the world whisper in their ear that adoption is too hard and the bills too high. They listen to relatives who tell them it will never work. They keep their ears

tuned to the deafening sound of the noise that the world loves to throw out there....they keep telling Him to wait.

  

Adoption has changed our lives that's for sure but without first giving up the life of a precious son named William I could not experience the love and gentleness of Josie and Ellie. I had to do hard things with the Lord first. We had to go against the world and all the lies and let God guide us through the maze.
Adoption is hard. The road is long but it is  do-able. So many have bought the lie that everything should come to us easily and without much effort and that's simply not the truth. Pregnancy is filled with hard days, long nights, and a certain dying of self..Adoption is not much different.

Children are a blessing.. not just healthy children, black children, white children, but just simply children...are a blessing.

Who are you missing at your table?
I'm so thankful that these two are sitting at my table sharing my food,
sharing my home, and I'm sharing with them the love and mercy of a Father...


Posted from the archives....

One, two, three.... jump!

She jumped

He caught her

She was scared

She reassured her

He thought he was king of the water

and he was for the day.

They're "double trouble" in a good way

but he can handle them and he does

She needed a cool off

and she got one...

They flew through the air and protected

our space. They splashed and swam until

all of them were ready to come home.

The hot summer days of swimming and playing are my

favorite memories with this family of mine.

 Sharing their life and them sharing mine.

Summer 2011

The fence

Living on a farm we have had our share of a variety animals

over the years. It was this particularly hot summer day that I remember

very vividly. We had two goats, anna bell and mama bell, and in order to keep them "up"

we had strung an electric fence around their new home. 

Taylor, being 3 years old at the time, didn't understand the fence or why

our new pets had to stay in one.

Her dad and I explained it time and time again and why

she should never touch the fence because it is "hot".

Throughout the day I saw her walking towards the fence getting

a little closer each time. Each time I would stop what I was doing

and run to her and explain it one more time. Her dad did the same thing

over and over that day. I saw her reach out and almost touch it

before we again would come and remind her..

She didn't really believe us, because as we were busy about our work

I heard a scream and I went to the fence.

There was my little girl crying. She had touched the fence. 

She had done what was right in her eyes.

The very thing I had pleaded with her not to touch she had touched. 

She didn't believe what I had to say because she ended up finding out the hard way that

the fence was hot.

I knew the fence was hot.

Because somewhere along my life I had touched

a fence and I knew the pain that it would bring.

Unfortunately, I had failed to train her at the time.

As I have learned 7 children later I pray that I'm being a lot

more deliberate in my training of authority and how the Lord

puts authority in your life to keep you from hot fences.

Having a generational vision means that I have

been places and done things that have not been right or good.

I want you to know that as your mama I will tell you what is good

and you can trust those things are good.

I will also tell you what things are bad and I trust that my children

can learn from my mistakes and stand on my shoulders instead

of saying, "the fence might have been hot to you, but it won't be hot to me".

Praying my children have wisdom.

I heard Paul Washer say

"Wisdom was not born with me

and it will not die with me."

It is learned.

Get in God's word.

Trust the authority He has put in your life.

Keep listening and trust even when you don't understand.

 My people are destroyed for a lack of knowledge.. 

Everyone does what is right in their own eyes. 

Teaching my children now some 14 years later I always encourage

them to get Godly counsel from their father or me or

older brothers or sisters. Teach your children to ask and ask often.

That little girl has now grown up.

Fortunately, for her, we have taught her with God's grace to listen to authority

that God has placed around her,

and now being 18 she has no problem going to her father

or me for advice she wants it and she listens. She heeds

 the advice of our elders and the men in our church and Godly women

that she respects.

 James 1v5

If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you..  



Things they will remember..

He is a very busy man. His name is Brock Ray. He has a radio show and used to have his own
T.V show for hunting, Outdoor World with Brock Ray. He has traveled the world over and happened
to marry my very best friend in the whole wide world.. Over the years he has given each of our boys a camouflage bible, a knife, hunting clothes and lessons in shooting.

He is ridiculously busy. He is starting a guide school in Colorado and has several other businesses.
So when he asked to come get the "boys" to take them to Chattanooga, Tenn for the day I was overwhelmed with his generosity. He has hunted deer, elk, bears, buffalo, wild hogs, and numerous other wild animals but never three White boys all by himself.  He picked them up and was buckling car seats and cracking jokes and our boys were soooo excited. He put aside his work for the day and invested his time into our boys/family. A day they will not soon forget. He even sent pictures through out the day so we could see what they were up to.

He took them to the Tennessee Aquarium  

Lupis pizza and Ben and Jerry's ice-cream

 Hunter museum where they posed for pictures 

When someone stops and takes the time to share a day, a moment

in time with your kids, it's a special thing.

And it reminds me to not take the friends in my life for granted.

Thanks Anna and Brock for loving our kids,
For sharing your home and your time.

July 2011

The color of our life..

They took plain white shirts and colored them.

They made them the colors of a rainbow.

And then we hung them out to dry.

Who knew what their shirt would look like,

until you took all the rubber bands off

and the colors revealed themselves.

 Each one different.

Like each child in my home.

Different.

But uniquely them.... made by God.

Each one beautiful.

 As I walk through my day with them I pray that I enjoy

the beauty that makes them..

Them.