My well

 Some days its hard giving everything I have to keep everyone happy, fed, and clothed.

I get overwhelmed at times with the vastness of the responsibility before me.

Breathing God's word into their life. Giving them water when my well feels

dry as a bone.

The water comes but some days just in trickles. Just enough.

God never promised me more than that. Just enough for the day, for the moment

 Is all He promised. I take a breath and look into my well and I can see

the  bottom. Oh Lord, I'm not supposed to see the bottom. It's muddy

and cloudy. It is bitter and luke-warm.

I dig deeper. 

I mess up. I grab my bucket and dip more water from my very small

well and pray that it's enough for them today. It never is.

Husband, and 8 children all needing what the Lord has given to me

as a wife and mother to hand out. My love and understanding, teaching them

to love one another, teaching them to understand grace and mercy.

My bucket runs dry. It comes up out of my well

bone dry, no water. On this day I have nothing. I can't give to them

because I have nothing to give.

My bucket is always being tipped and the water spilling out onto them and spilling

out onto the dry parched earth that soaks it up. How much did they get?

 I'm always going to Him saying, "Lord, I have nothing else to give.

I feel empty, used up. I need my well to be deeper."

He gives.

Oh, He gives anew every single day. Some days He gives in abundance

and other days He gives me just enough to get through. At the end of the day

I'm saying, "well, it wasn't pretty but we made it through." Other days

we are standing soaking wet with God's faucet turned all the way on

and we're dancing in His water.

I realize that it's not important how deep my well is.

I have a heavenly Father who's well is overflowing with

clean, pure, abundant water and He tells me to come

and drink it. He tells me to give it to others who are thirsty.

Lord, help me not look into my own well today and see a sloppy

muddy mess or look in and see the dust.

Let me always go and kneel at your well and plead for your water.

The water that is overflowing.

Your perfect water..that covers me when I have nothing. 

revisting the past
from 2011