Thankful to be in the race

Dear Lord, You have made me a strong woman yet given me a heart to have compassion.The work you are doing in my life is slowly being uncovered. I'm selfish and my heart cries out for it's own way. Please forgive me.

You, Father, have done so much for me. You have given me enough blessings for a thousand women. A sound mind, a beautiful piece of earth to raise my family on and lots of children to share my few breaths with on this earth. Why can't it be enough? Why must my mind drift to what ifs and more? Why must I, like a child who grows tired of their toys, grow tired and want more gifts when the gifts before me are so numerous I can't count them?

I feel a slowing down of my mind for once in my life. No need to hurry about. Stopping to enjoy the intentional gifts You have put in my life. I realize that the gifts and the blessings are numerous. I just have to uncover them. Like the many animals here on the farm. Cats, chickens, cows and the mischievous 3 little pigs who refuse to stay in their padlock and uncovered 1/4th of the dark soil in my front yard. My face surprised as I saw the tilled up earth.Turning my thoughts to the farmers in the old days who loved the pigs tilling ability and who depended on it. Even though I can't think of a thing that I can plant that would make that place look beautiful right now, I wait for spring and the new growth of grass and somehow turn that tilled up earth into thanksgiving.   

I'm thankful for the son that seemed to grow up right before my eyes.The one that holds that place of being first. Being the first son to slip into my life. The little boy who made me worry when in his first weeks of life he struggled to be here. The little boy who made me question if I really loved his father more and realizing I really did love his father more, but only by a little. The little boy knees that were in my back as he slipped into my covers in the darkness of the morning. The little boy who has treated me way better than I ever imagined as he has became a man. My heart swells with a mothers love when I see him dreaming and preparing for his future. 

I'm thankful for a race, that I was not fully prepared for but a little girl that had been training all summer chose to run with me and root for me and tell me that I could do it. I tried to get her to go on.....to finish and do well but she grabbed my hand and said "mom, I'm staying with you". The tender mercies of a sweet daughter with a toothless grin who, in this moment in time, is not embarrassed to run the race with her mom or afraid to come in last if she has to (thankfully we didn't come in last :).

The moments of motherhood are being lived out everyday around me.The tiniest of blessings being overlooked if I don't watch for them and record them in my mind.  

Remembering that some days are easier and lots of days are hard but like Paul, I'm just thankful to be in the race of motherhood.

Hebrews 12:1: 

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us. "