A True Knot

The day she was born was the day that God showed out in a big way.

Another daughter after 13 years.

The doctor told me to push and then he screamed for me to stop.

He was noticeably very upset and I remember crying saying, "whats wrong?"

 and then I heard her cry.

Her sweet little lungs filling with air.

The doctor reached up and handed her to me and said, "God was with us today".

Channie-Mae had a 'true knot' in her cord. The doctor had never seen one that ended with a good outcome and wouldn't talk about it...

he didn't have to

We all knew what he was thinking when he said "I can't talk .. it could have gone  real bad today".

I held my tiny baby and cried and a part of me changed that day.

No more living just an ordinary life

He had given me a miracle

and I was not going to forget.  

I whispered (and continue to whisper, actually yell),

"Thank you, Lord, for saving her."

I tell her the story of her birth often. I, well we,  treat her  like the miracle that she is. We always have from that day March 30, 2006. 

My little girl with the missing front teeth is 7 years old this weekend.

The little person who ripped my heart open and cleaned it out so that

I could love deeper. She made me more vulnerable to the world because I knew that she was just like me and I knew that the little girl inside of me who didn't have a father and didn't have the security of a home grew now somewhere inside of Channie Mae. God gave me another childhood through her eyes. A happy ending.

I have often told myself this was the little girl I was supposed to be

brave

happy

loving

loyal

secure

helpful

She is all of those things and more.   

God healed a generation through her.

Me

My heart healed through all my children but Channie Mae living out and loving so huge was like having open heart surgery.

Being healed of the past, being healed of wondering what if, being healed of any doubt that my Heavenly Father adored me.

Growing up with the boys in her life has given her such a sweetness.

They have carried her when the road was hot or her feet hurt. They slept with her when she was scared and held her hand when she needed one.

They have never been allowed to treat Channie harshly and that was because of this man.

Her daddy

He regards his daughters as the precious gifts they are

and if I were a boy I wouldn't mess with him concerning them.

He has no tolerance if someone hurts Channie Mae's feelings.

He is her protector and that job description has only gotten more detailed 

as he's gotten older.  So when I say our guys are gentle with our girls

I'm not just saying that, he makes it happen. We don't have fussing and fighting

among them. The boys will rough house but I'm talking mean spirited, tearing down each other. The boys know if one of the girls is crying there's going to be a trial and if you're found guilty....it's not a good thing.

I wonder if all dads taught their boys to love their sisters like that

what the world would look like. What homes would look like?

What the little girls would look like?  

 I wonder if all little girls could trust their daddy to defend them

and honor them and in so doing teaching them that all men, all boys

should honor them and all the little girls in the world would grow up strong  

and healthy and never give herself to a man just to feel loved or wanted. She would already know her worth and she would know her value.

I pray that Chandler-Mae never forgets the hours he has spent

holding her and protecting her and teaching her

of his love and the love of Christ.

I pray that she continues to live a life of thanksgiving and remembering He

saved her life that day in March and she should live as if

she's a miracle because she is one.

Happy Birthday Chandler-Mae Grayce White 

We love you to the moon and back and a bushel and a peck...

2013