The pinky promise has been broken

Be at rest once more oh my soul for the Lord has been good to you.

Be at rest.. such a small word but one that eludes me as of late. I have so much to be thankful for this month, of all months. It has kept me praising His name for all of the goodness in my life. Taylor celebrated her 20th birthday and with John by her side she blew 20 candles out on her cake. My soul wanted to run. My tears wanted to fall for the little girl that I have watched blow candles out over the past 20 years. The little girl that opens each gift without ripping paper. The little girl that I have shared 20 birthday cakes with and the ice-cream to go with it. Yeah, that little girl has grown up even though when she was five she pinky promised me she wouldn't. I knew when I made her make that promise that she would never keep it but here I sit looking at her and truly wondering where it all went.

All that time I thought I had.

and then five days later my soul aching under the realization that my baby boy turned 18. The little boy he used to be just a memory as he is now a man.

I have watched him turn into this amazing guy and I'm so thankful for the gifts that the Lord has given to him. The little boy who used to dress up like batman and run around the house saying, 'Mama, you're the best mama in the whole world".

I didn't miss it. I was here for every first step and every milestone. His first hair-cut and his first words as he learned to read, the first time he road his bike and learned to swim and yet my mind can't find enough of the memories to satisfy me.  

My world changing and along with the birthdays came this young man, John.

He has been an answered prayer in our life. 

You know, the prayer that is written in every journal since she was born.

That guy who would love her and her crazy family. 

They have been courting and I'm truly amazed at what the Lord has done. He has brought into our life a humble young man who loves the Lord and loves the girls crazy family..oh, and he might love the girl as well;)

He is one of the most thoughtful young men I have ever been around.

He opens doors and will make you sea sick if you're sitting at a table with him and Taylor gets up and down a lot. My head goes up and down just watching him. He stands when she sits and he stands when she gets up.

 I'm like, "Taylor don't get up again...poor John will not be able to walk tomorrow".

She smiles that goofy grin at me..and our eyes meet and I know what she's thinking. She's waited her whole life to give me that look and I didn't miss it.

Courting is a family affair. It's not strange like a lot of people make it out to be.

It's quite fun for me, actually.

  Everyone around here has her/his opinions and well, John has made it to the top of the A list with everyone.

He has intentionally made time with each child and with me and Scott. 

There's that word intentional.... with a purpose.

We intentionally call and text John all during the week to pray for him

or to check in with him. They rarely go places alone and there is always a couple of six kids fighting for the chance to ride with the two of them.

Do we do that because we don't trust them?

No, we do that because we are intentionally going to pass our daughter to a man who has strong morals and believes that dating the worlds way isn't working for most people.

  

 He has drove the three hour drive from Auburn more times than I can count to stay in our little house on the hill, to spend hours with our family. Cooking, watching movies, going out to dinner, going to church almost every Sunday, helping wash dishes, reading bedtime stories, celebrating birthdays, walks in the park and helping put our pigs up. You find out a lot about them when it's pig time...

 We have prayed together and hearing the tender words of thankfulness from him thanking God for our family makes my soul sing for joy for him.

    

He sends each child a birthday box and in it filled with things they would love and a card telling them why he loves them and why they are special to him.

He never tires of bed time stories with the little girls or holding Channie for hours on end at church. He sits right in the middle of our big ol' crew at church and smiles as if he was made for such a thing. 

I believe he was.

The good always comes with the change.

Change is inevitable but I'm not good at it.

I'm sorry to disappoint anyone out there but I like routine.

I like bedtime routines and home school days that run together in a blur. 

I love looking for shoes and finding them in crazy places.

I love my front yard and the little patch of dirt that is a reminder of how long they have been swinging under that tree.

I like setting my table and lighting my lanterns and watching their feet dangle

underneath.

.....but the pinkie promise has been broken and her feet don't dangle anymore and he doesn't run around as batman. 

So, as I get used to this change in my life I've been doing a lot of crying.

Yep, good old bawl days and trying not to burden friends with my growing pains.     

I love the Lord and I love what He is doing in our family.

I trust Him and I trust the new work that I'm having to do.

He reminds me that their growing up has been a result of me doing my job. 

Now, I must finish up my work and shut down office for these two.

I know I sound dramatic and, believe me, I am very dramatic, but this season comes with a bitter sweetness that I'm slowly getting used to.

I know you're tired and there are days when you just want the clock to say bedtime but can I tell you that I have moved bedtime so I get an extra hour with them.....and they don't keep their pinky promises.

So, this is my life lately..all the change drawing me closer to Him.

May 2013